Stop Playing Victim: 3 Strategies To Actually “Heal” | THE SMRT LIST no.21

The Healing Hoax: 3 Strategies To Slay Victim Mentality


Hi, Friends!

Happy holidays and I hope you enjoyed indulging in more festive treats than your Fitbit can count steps. Because, let’s be honest, December is a month-long cheat day, and we’re all in it together.

Now that Christmas is over, I’m sure we all have that new year anxiety because, for all A-types like me, we want to slay 2024.

Imagine this: It’s the end of 2024, life knocking at your door, same old grind, hobbies, and crew. Will you be doing a victory dance? Don’t lie to yourself.

Maybe your current setup is your happy place. Cool. Or maybe you’re wondering if there’s more to this show than reruns.

Often, we don’t know what we want but we should always know what we don’t want.

Whenever I’m feeling like I’m stuck on repeat, I do the mental time travel thing. Imagine a future me drowning in the monotony of my own choices. When the daydream doesn’t include unicorns or rainbows, just the harsh reality of my habits, I know I need to step it up.

When 2023 year began:

  • My plans? Obliterated with no warning (a loved one’s illness).
  • Wandered aimlessly, proudly holding a PhD in grief.
  • Decided to ghost my home for half the year to step light-years out of my comfort zone. Spent most of the year traveling, hotel and Airbnb hopping— living the nomadic roam! ✈️

By the end of the year, I successfully:

  • Landed a gig in the industry of my dreams.
  • Found a new purpose and unlocked my “why.”
  • Assembled a new like-minded squad with similar interests.
  • Manifestation game strong— my life’s desires are on speed dial.
  • Marie Kondo-ed my life, bid farewell to stale vibes and trauma bonds.
  • Everything lost in January made a triumphant comeback, tenfold, life’s story retold.

The seemingly woeful year became the best and most transformative year of my life. Honestly, I learn by watching other people make mistakes (non-judgementally), and then play the reverse engineering card to dodge those same pitfalls.

Life’s a wild ride, right? Six months, a cosmic makeover— yhayyy! If you’re not satisfied with your reality, it’s your choice to change it. No one is coming to save you.

But let’s talk about you and why you need to care.

A few days left until 2024. Are you drowning in the sea of sameness, stuck in a “healing” loop that’s hijacking your goals?

If so, read on.


Are You Addicted To Healing?

I’m going to say it because you won’t want to hear it.

Being healed demands accountability, extreme ownership, and bidding farewell to the victim card.

That’s not a walk in the park.

People chase enlightenment like it’s a mythical unicorn. Spoiler: it doesn’t exist, especially not in our human bodies.

From my {non-judgmental} observations, people never truly heal because they lack the confidence to step into their true potential. Instead, they surround themselves with the “familiar” to keep themselves “safe.” People who validate them and keep them average.

Average is where all things go to die. 🚫

Had a convo with a friend and we both agreed: boundaries are for the faint-hearted, a bit absurd. 😂

To an extent, hear me out, it’s about facing the clout.

If you’re recycling the same boundaries year after year, projecting your insecurities onto others while *nothing is changing– that simply means fear is in your driver’s gear.

If you’re stuck, step one: change your surroundings and break free from your surroundings.


You’re taking the first step out of your comfort zone.

It’s only until then, will the second step reveal itself.

If you want to build confidence, you have to chase courage.

Do things that scare you. Over and over to strengthen that muscle.

Get out of your normal.

Create a new normal.

Purge all stale energy from your precious life.

Being healed means quitting the obsession with the end goal, embracing the journey, life’s poetic expression.

Transformation is a forever thing.

Healing means surrendering.

Expand your comfort zone by executing.

So get out there.

Live fearlessly.

Stop Playing Victim: 3 Strategies To Actually “Heal” | THE SMRT LIST no.21

Strategy 1: Surround yourself with friends who trigger you.


Those closest to you—whether they’re friends, family, or your significant other—inevitably trigger you because your brain craves the comfort of the familiar.

That’s why we support strangers in their businesses but rarely, do we support our friends. If you’re a business owner, you get it. 😕

If you’ve got a friend skyrocketing in relationships, career, health, or anything else, brace yourself for those uncomfortable pangs of inadequacy. Unfortunately, your brain, in an attempt to shield you from these uncomfortable feelings, resorts to projecting your insecurities onto your friend.

On the flip side, if you’re deep into self-mastery while your friend’s stuck in a loop, watching their stagnation might flashback to your past self. Not a fun trip down memory lane. Your brain, fully aware of the grind of today’s you, serves up a mix of helplessness, despair, and maybe a dash of sadness. It’s not them, it’s you.

The only way through? Sit in the discomfort, dissect those prickly feelings, and learn from them. No judgment, just observation—everyone’s on a unique journey.

You’ll want to dodge those triggers because of your brain’s default mode network (DMN). Override it by being aware. Embrace the pain, and learn how to suffer well. Life will never get easy.

Strategy 2: Upgrade your biology.

You’re not healing because you’re not transforming YOUR BIOLOGY.

People get stuck in the healing phase forever because all they do is read books, and go to therapy but they don’t take consistent action to change their biology.

Transformation begins with moving your body every day.

Change your body to change your emotions.

Change your emotions to change your decisions.

Change your decisions to change the quality of your life.

Learn More: Exercise: The Single Most Powerful Thing You Can Do

Strategy 3: Accept That You’ll Never be Fully Healed

As Nietzsche said, “to live is to suffer, to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering.

Fully healed? Nope, that’s a myth. Transformation is a never-ending journey.

Searching for a pain-free path is like chasing a mirage—tempting but often elusive, a temporary oasis.

Easy street? Doesn’t exist.

Avoiding pain invites more pain.

If “unsafe” is your constant vibe, broaden that comfort zone to feel safe.

YOU are the only one keeping YOURSELF stuck.

No one is coming to save you.

Pain is a privilege because within its crucible lie the seeds of growth, resilience, and wisdom. It forges character, fosters empathy, and amplifies the beauty of joy. Embracing pain as a transformative force is acknowledging life’s challenges as invaluable opportunities for profound personal evolution.

What To Do:

We’ll all face grief and loss. The game plan? Build resilience—the adaptability to bounce back after adversity by pre-conditioning your mind during tough times.

The Next Step…

Are you ready to live longer, better? Click here to learn how to slay the long game.

Complete Biohacking Bible | xSuperhuman Collective: A Community of Biohackers | Extend Health Span & Become A Healthy x Wealthy Superman | Extreme Ownership

☕️ Wealthy Minds

⏱ Current: The most important podcast you’ll listen to this year about metabolic health (the root case of all lifestyle diseases): Dr. Robert Lustig x Huberman Labs
🥑 Health: Did you know that Alzheimer’s can begin developing in brains as early as people in their 30s when they have toxic lifestyles and unhealthy habits? Continue reading…
💸 Wealth: Stop being a prisoner of recessions and layoffs by building your personal brand. Apply Now.
💕 Love: Unconventional Relationship Advice
🥂 Life: How To Never Be Intimidated Again
🧬 Science: Y’all know I’m anti-Vegan. Love each vegan as a human being but these biases are a public health epidemic. Can we shout louder? Read: Stanford’s Vegan Twin Study: Science or PR Stunt?
🔮 Future: Move forward by getting out of your head. Read: Shed Your Biases.
⌛️ Past: My Memoir: Navigating The Infinite Game With Synchronicity’s Serenade

PS: Have you created your one-word theme for 2024 yet?

Your Next Step: Ready To Level Up?

Now, many people are unable to see past their limiting beliefs because they don’t have control of their biology. Take back control of your physiology to create confidence and higher emotions, leading to better habits, decisions and outcomes.

See the link there? It all goes back to YOU: mind + body + spirit. We can show you how:

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🌿 HEALTH: peak performance & flow coach, holistic nutritionist, cyclist, athlete. 💸 WEALTH: Serial entrepreneur, agency owner, creative strategist, writer, columnist, designer, web developer, copy-writer, digital marketer, e-commerce consultant. 🔥 INTJ. Libra. Contrarian thinker. Loves to be intellectually stimulated. READ MY STORY →
THE SMRT LIST | We unveil uncomfortable truths to build grit. | Free Peak Performance training & resources to level up.

We explore uncomfortable truths + unconventional conversations.

If you don’t wanna talk about it, let’s talk about it.

I want you to be equally obsessed with your career, relationships, wellness, social life, and everything in between… by learning to live on the edge of your comfort zone.

Life is too short for mediocrity. ✌🏼

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