Creating The Chapters Of Your Life
I genuinely wish everyone can live effortlessly because if we want success, we HAVE to manifest success for EVERYONE around us.
This is the one thing that separates happy people from those who are negative, critical, jealous, and insecure. They operate from a place of scarcity because they think the world is against them when in fact, you need to be in flow with the universe because our energies are all connected.
In this article I will break down:
- Five Philosophies I’ve Embodied
- Why It Works
- Step-By-Step Directions
- How It Works
- Examples (From My Experience)
If I can do it, you can too. 🤞🏼
- Hardwire your mind for gratitude and positivity. I’ve woken up almost every day fucking excited to start my day since I started my career at 19— even when I was going through my darkest time because I learned to reframe everything as an opportunity to level up. I can’t even express how much I love life and even the hardest challenges get me excited! It’s not a bad way to live.
- Get comfortable with living on the edge of discomfort. I rarely hesitate when I have to face something that scares me. “I can’t” simply does NOT exist in my vocabulary. Because of this, stress and challenges are easy to overcome and I don’t get caught up in the small things. I’ve hardwired my brain to thrive in discomfort.
- Don’t get distracted and sell yourself out. I easily walked away from 6-figure opportunities because they didn’t align with my values because I am confident in myself to show up.
- Create your own opportunities. I never had to go “find work.” Maybe it’s attention bias but things always land in my lap at the right time.
- Live unapologetically. Live life to the fullest and stop caring what anyone thinks! When you stay in your own lane and respect others, the universe will always be on your side.
I used a very simple framework to get to where I am today and reflecting back, it was creating the chapters of my life.
1. It reduces cognitive load.
Attention is currency. In a world where our attention is pulled in a million directions, our brains are tired AF. By having a one-word theme for the year, your brain has one singular focus to master that’ll have a cascading effect on your micro-goals, making them easier to achieve.
2. It reduces decision fatigue.
The fewer things we have to think about the better. Peak performers know that less is more.
3. It gives you clarity.
One of the triggers to drop into flow is to have a clear goal. By doing the initial work up front to figure out what you truly desire (the first step in the framework), your mind has less to worry about. Since that one word will be embedded into your subconscious, you have the cognitive capacity to think about your goals for that year.
4. You are laying the foundations for success.
Success requires strong foundations but what you truly need may be muddled with conditioning and distractions. Your true desires are buried deep in your subconscious. By doing the initial work (the first step in the framework), you’re uncovering what you need to set that foundation at this stage in your life.
5. You learn to enjoy the journey.
By focusing on the over-arching theme for the year, you’re going to find that everything else will fall into place.
1. Think of everything you want to achieve the next year.
This one is fun! 🤞🏼 Write down all the things you want to achieve this year.
Think big. Thing wide. It can be personal, professional, rational, or silly. Think of all your hobbies, and desires, and even break down the steps you may need to take to get to your five or ten-year goal. Make this list as long as possible.
Don’t get too caught up in the details for now, such as how, time, or how ridiculous or embarrassing your goals are.
Pro-tip: Use “I am…” as if you’re already doing it.
Examples (we will call these “micro-goals” for the sake of this exercise):
- I am going to make over $300,000 and work as little as possible.
- I am going to drop back down to 17% body fat.
- I am going to be more adventurous in experimenting with recipes.
- I am going to be a better listener and communicator.
- I am going to cultivate my own crew of intellectual sparring partners.
- I am going to deepen my relationship with my siblings/parents.
- I am going to move in with my partner.
- I am going to strengthen my relationship with my partner and ensure both of our needs are met.
- I am going to learn how to not be selfish.
- I am going to simplify my life and remove low-value activities that don’t support my life’s vision.
2. Pick one word— an overarching theme.
This word is a habit, skill, behavior, or mindset you could focus on to help you achieve all your micro-goals. This one word is going to your INTENTION for 2023.
- Audit your list.
- Can you group your goals and find common themes?
- What skills or mindsets do you need to develop to accomplish those themes?
If this fails, you can simplify this process: What is the first word that comes to your mind if I were to ask you to pick ONE word to work on for 2023? Whatever comes to your mind first is your subconscious speaking. Your gut feeling. Listen to it.
For example, let’s work from the list above. These are actually some of my goals for 2023. The word I got from my list is: COMMUNITY.
*Keep reading to find out why I chose this theme for 2023 and how I got there— it’s a progression from my 2021 and 2022 themes.
3. Imprint the word into your subconscious.
Think of it as the voice in your head. Our brain works by repetition. You’re going to hardwire this word into your brain.
My word for 2022 was “focus” so when I find myself getting distracted, I would hear “focus”… that annoying voice literally followed me everywhere, even to the bathroom.
- Write this at the top of your journal every day. This habit literally takes things out of your mind and makes them ‘real’ for your brain. Your brain can’t solve problems unless it knows what it is.
- Remind yourself every day. Soon, with every action or decision you take, there’ll be a voice in the back of your head reminding you of this word. Is it going to help you reach it or take it further away?!
- Tell anyone who’ll listen to create accountability. When you put things out there, you’re more likely to do it.
- Write it with a pen on your wrist every day. If it’s that important to you, you can even tattoo it. For example, I have “discipline” on my biceps (2012) and “liberte” on my collarbone (2016). I still live and die by those words and they’ve become the building blocks of who I am today.
4. As the year progresses, create micro-goals.
Now that you have your one overarching “theme of the year”, you may set weekly, monthly, or quarterly “micro-goals”— pick a timeframe that works for you. This is part is highly individualized. It’ll depend on how many goals you want to achieve and where you are in life.
In some years, I will have one big goal and several micro-goals. Maybe your big goal is to get a promotion, launch your first entrepreneurial venture, or get married to your partner.
If it makes sense, you may pick a secondary word that further “defines” your first word. For example, “community” is my word for 2023 but a corresponding word I use is “family” which is similar. Every action I take and thought that goes through my head will take me closer to my goal of building the community I’ve always wanted.
5. Stay extremely aware.
If you stay aware of and focused on your theme, one day you will have an “aha” moment when you realized you’ve “succeeded”. It’s hard to explain but half of it is intuition. You will just feel it. This may sound vague to you but the journey to self-actualization and fulfillment is subjective. Only you know your goals and when you’ve achieved them.
Try this framework and let me know if it works for you!
When you have a word in the back of your head, it’s hard not to listen. Actually, let me rephrase: you’re going to FORCE yourself to listen because nothing worthwhile comes easy. We’re all about the hard work and that’s why you’re here!
Let’s say your goals this year revolve around leaving your 9-5. All your micro-goals may include things like:
- committing 2 hours per day to take a course on SEO
- going to bed at 10 pm every night to ensure you get 8 hours of sleep
- committing 1hr in the morning before work on your copywriting course
- going to the gym 3x/week so you can stay healthy and not burn out
Maybe you decided the word for the year will be: GROW. It’s a huge commitment but you’re dedicated AF. With every action and decision you make, you’ll practice asking yourself: “is this helping me GROW or not?”
Like everyone’s favorite backseat driver, an annoying voice will begin to form. Don’t worry, you’ll learn to adapt because let me remind you, YOU WANT IT THAT BAD!
➡ Let’s say you start slacking off and record a Tiktok dance video with your dog, you’ll hear that annoying voice. “Am I growing?”
➡ You start scrolling on Instagram. “Am I growing?”
➡ Eight tabs in, including an article on the rising price of tamales, when you should be studying: “Am I growing?”
➡ You miss a workout because you’re having a good hair day (I was guilty of that once). “Am I growing?”
➡ You crack open a bag of flaming hot cheeots at 9 pm, knowing you shouldn’t be eating three hours before bed. “Am I growing?”
You see… GROW is going to follow you and help you cancel out all your bad habits over the year. Just one simple but powerful word.
Once you hear that voice enough, you will start to listen. Trust me.
Because you’re going to set a standard for yourself. When you don’t listen to that voice, YOU’RE DROPPING YOUR STANDARDS. You know what that means: low standards attract low standards. Is that what you want?
I didn’t think so.
Bonus: You Discover Your Next Level Up Along The Way
We live life in seasons and need to accomplish certain things to grow in order to take us to the next level. It’s similar to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs except growth is never linear. You can level up, then level down, and level up two steps the following year.
The themes I choose are close to my heart and desires for that particular season of my life, as I learned from the first step in this framework. Knowing if I’m focused on mastering that theme, I’m laying the foundations and everything else will fall into place.
The magic is that it’ll pave the way for the next step in your journey.
Life Becomes The Journey
As you continuing level up in life, you’ll also continue to work on your themes from the previous years. Everything compounds.
For example, I actually accomplished my biggest goal in October after staying fucking “focused” throughout 2022, and right after, I already knew what my theme was going to be for the following year (family). In fact, I’m already working on it. As I was cleaning my kitchen a few weeks ago, all the thoughts that went through my mind were instances in the past year where I didn’t show up as my best self. I found myself asking: “what can I do to be less selfish moving forward?”
All your thoughts will eventually funnel toward your theme if you hardwire your mind to keep it around.
- Click here to read my Chapter 2022: A Year of Fierce Focus
- Coming soon: Chapter 2021: A Year of Calm & Impenetrable Inner Peace