Preface – Cosmic Rhapsody: Bending Reality, Living Long, and Playing Life’s Song
Better to live one year as a tiger than a hundred as a sheep.
Life is an enigma. I eagerly turned 36 this year, and as I traverse through the adventure I call my life, I’m awestruck by the synchronized arrival of my desires—not too soon, but just when life’s lessons carve their indestructible marks. It’s the celestial equilibrium where cosmic forces conspire to deliver the fruits of hard work.
In this cosmic dance, I’ve learned that everything worthwhile requires effort. I could’ve had it all at each life chapter, but stubbornness guided my choices. A relentless tango with the universe where I consistently opt for the difficult path. The scenic route is adorned with challenges and lessons. A conscious rejection of easy street, an acknowledgment that the heart’s desires are often guarded by dragons of difficulty. Each tribulation becomes a stepping stone, each challenge a crucible refining the strength of my spirit.
Now, I know it was my inner voice that always guided me toward my true calling.
Diamonds are forged in the crucible of pressure.
So, as the candles on the cake flicker to commemorate the passing years, I cannot wait to age boldly— each wiser than the one before but experiences just as extraordinary. I thrive in the unknown, an adventurer in the theatre of existence.
Life, the grand enigma, continues to unfold its mysteries, and with every passing moment, I embrace the enigmatic dance, knowing that the allure lies not in the destination, but in the cadence of the journey itself.
There’s an inherent potency in articulating these experiences in writing – a transformative power that cultivates gratitude for the intricate tapestry of my life, a life where I actively played a role in shaping and bending reality, rather than passively waiting for life to unfold before me.
This is my memoir.
Chapter 1 – Extreme Ownership: Biohacking My Biology
The only thing that’s keeping you from getting what you want is the story you keep telling yourself.
I commenced my fitness journey around 2008. One day, while grappling with the challenge of pedaling up a hilly Vancouver neighborhood, a stark reality hit me— I had gained a considerable amount of weight during my first year of work, courtesy of the tempting free food that accompanied the perks of my job at a major tech company.
I decided that things needed to change.
Motivation to change comes easy because I vividly envision the undesirable outcome a year later if I remained on the same path Yuck.
The beginning of my transformation began by scouring bodybuilding.com forums. I was an early reader of Mark’s Daily Apple, Tim Ferris’ blog amongst other fitness and personal development blogs, while documenting my journey on my own.
Chapter 2 – The Vanilla, White-Picket Fence Existence
Security is mostly a superstition. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.
This chapter of my life from 2007-2015 was intensely satisfying. I had the perfect job, perfect boyfriend, perfect friends, perfect hobbies, perfect apartment in a perfect location… everything I wanted.
My roots weren’t anchored in affluence or privilege. My immigrant family weathered financial storms, and my parents toiled through multiple jobs. I carried a sense of shame in asking them for anything. My childhood memories is my beloved Barbie with one stiletto because I felt ashamed for asking my parents to buy her another shoe. Under the Christmas tree, my dad fervently set up each year, I’d find towering boxes wrapped in festive paper—yet perpetually empty. That was my normal.
Instead of playing victim, I taught myself how to code and design when I was nine, initiating a relentless journey of hustling and continuous learning. My first job at McDonald’s at 15 was a blast, working alongside my best friends. While my peers partied in their 20s, I remained disciplined, balancing my career and health, albeit going dancing and raging on weekends.
I loved life, especially Mondays. Rising at 5 am for invigorating 100 km bike rides before work, choosing the scenic route to the office, a bracing cold shower before diving into meetings, and engaging in CrossFit, HIIT training, or weightlifting mid-day. The evenings were reserved for riding my bike home in the evening, rain or glistening sunsets— perhaps followed by conquering the Grouse Grind or surrendering to the serenity of a hot yoga class. I loved it and never burnt out. It was undoubtedly a mindset thing, all while managing a full-time job and running a consulting business on the side.
I held myself to high standards but not so rigid as to strain my nervous system. I made sure to have fun along the way. 🎉
I can proudly declare that I have never lost motivation or fallen off the bandwagon since.
My goal is to teach everyone that this is possible— not without hardwork.
But nothing worthwhile comes easy.
How? Doing hard things pre-conditions your mind to thrive when life really gets tough.
In this chapter, eating a balanced diet, going to the gym, or clipping into my road bike (even in the rain) became nonnegotiable and on autopilot just like brushing my teeth all while maintaining a radical balance (I’m a Libra and INTJ after all). 😇
I learned to:
- never quit
- love my body
- express gratitude
- master my routine
- be confident at the gym
- master work/life balance
- become a create of habit
- cook healthy meals from scratch
- while making sure I had a lot of fun
- not be a fair-weather rider (I rode my bike rain, snow, or shine)
- honor the importance of recovery & keeping my nervous system in a parasympathetic state.
Chapter 3 – Shattering Paradigms: A Symphony of Transformation
As the cocoon of the known unravels, the butterfly of transcendence emerges. Embrace the beauty of paradigm shattering, for in its flutter, you find the magic of spiritual flight.
In 2015, I catapulted my life to another level, propelled by the seismic force of a paradigm shift that rippled through the very fabric of my existence.
It was a symphony of transformation, a crescendo that harmonized the departure from my vanilla existence—severing ties with the seductive allure of a lucrative 9-5 in video games, concluded an 11-year relationship that had become a comfortable cocoon, and deciding to live life on my own terms. I chronicled this chapter on my old personal blog.
I yearned for growth.
A siren’s call beckoned, urging me to reimagine the landscapes of my existence.
I credit biohacking my physiology (fitness) for transforming my body into a canvas where resilience and the demolition of limiting beliefs painted a masterpiece of boundless potential. The fortress of my mind, once steadfast and imposing, was dismantled, and the floodgates swung open. It was in this revelation that I recognized the immutable truth: the impossible is always possible.
“I can’t” was completely removed from my vocabulary.
This epoch synchronized with the dawn of my spiritual journey. Initially, the abstract concept of “creating reality with thoughts” eluded me— an ethereal wisp slipping through my fingers.
Miraculously along the way, I encountered a remarkable teacher who introduced me to philosophy, quantum physics, entanglement, energy, and the power of the mind. The concepts didn’t seem “real” to me.
How can you change the world with just your thoughts?
My teacher was relentless, pushing me to my limits, questioning my soul, and attempting to break me to understand. I was frustrated. I cried. But I thrived. I yearned for this discomfort—an uncomfortable cocoon of self-discovery, where I metamorphosed with unwavering determination, drawing strength from the sacred rituals in the gym and the rhythmic cadence of my bike rides. My mind, like steel forged in the crucible of hard times, was pre-conditioned for these real-life hard times.
Unbeknownst to my conscious self, I soaked in knowledge like a parched desert receiving the long-awaited rain. Each drop of wisdom, seemingly innocuous, converged into a river that would meander through the landscapes of my consciousness, shaping the contours of my life. The enigmatic forces governing reality and the universe remain beyond comprehension, yet somehow, they work.
After discovering a world of podcasts, sipping from the elixir of Bulletproof coffee, and delving deep into the esoteric realms of personal development and self-mastery, I finally began to understand.
Reflecting on the tapestry of the past few years, I stand in awe of life itself— the most wonderous journey.
The kaleidoscope of existence reminds me of the mantra: just keep on going even if you don’t know what you’re doing. You will eventually get there. The second step will reveal itself once you take the first—a simple yet profound concept. 🌹
Chapter 4 – The First Expansion: Adventure Over Comfort
In any given moment, we have two options: to step forward into growth or to step back into safety.
Departing from the cocoon of a comfortable, stable existence—complete with a plush salary, a chic downtown condo, and a multitude of friends—I embarked on a journey to expand both my mind and my surroundings.
Two choices pulled me in completely opposite directions:
- Start an online business in the booming Instagram space
- Leave everything behind to live IRL (in real life).
I chose the latter.
Ignited by the book, “The Surrender Experiment”, I followed in the footsteps of Michael Singer. His decision to say YES to everything wasn’t a heedless plunge into chaos but a conscious leap of faith—a willingness to step beyond the cozy contours of his comfort zone and embrace the mysteries of the unknown. This newfound openness led him to take risks, pursue unconventional opportunities, and connect with people from all walks of life.
I found myself creating homes for myself in LA and the South of France—places that had danced in the dreams of my childhood vision board. Life was fun, free from the shackles of stress, and I reveled in gratitude for the abundance that broadened my perspectives to unexplored horizons.
Chapter 5 – Unconsciously Desiring Challenges
What a pity that most people will only face one battle their entire life.
My dopaminergic mind craved discomfort. I felt a restlessness, a disquiet because life still seemed “too easy.”
I decided to move back to Vancouver. I used to joke with my friends that I moved from “the life”— a mansion in Beverly Hills with a maid for what some might call a “sh!thole” (💩, not describing the place itself, which was quite nice, but the people, mindset, and environment were a stark 💩 contrast).
Yet, I needed this. My soul was calling for it.
From 2018 to 2020, I stepped into an alternate reality, a stark departure from my comfortable life surrounded by high achievers with standards towering over the Burj Khalifa. The shock was palpable, but I chose to surrender and let the adventure unfold. I trusted myself.
I was unconsciously, asking the universe to shake up my life, and boy— my life became even more audacious and I lived it to the fullest. I experienced things and emotions I’ve never been exposed to. The highest of the highs and the lowest of the lows. I loved and hated it.
Through this chapter, I mastered:
- the art of hustle
- not be afraid of asking
- leadership as a woman
- the courage to take risks
- an unyielding fearlessness
- swift problem-solving as challenges arose
- shedding the shackles of a scarcity mindset
- proactively creating opportunities (not waiting!)
- never lower my standards for anyone or anything
- live comfortably on the edge of my comfort zone
The paramount lesson learned was the pivotal role of environment. You might intellectually grasp these concepts, but true understanding only dawns through lived experiences. We are truly the average of our environment. The people around us will make us or break us.
Chapter 6 – The Great Fall: Lessons in Dissonance
“Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.”Friedrich Nietzsche
This chapter unfolded like a wild adventure, a chaotic dance with life’s unpredictable beat. But amid the excitement, I started sensing some discordant notes creeping into the symphony, signaling that change was on the way.
Maybe it was the misleading charm of toxic positivity or my stubborn persistence, but I found myself stuck in a situation that had morphed into my unsettling “normal.” It was time to listen to my inner voice, my trusty intuition, which had been getting louder each day.
This chapter, though foreign in its themes, became an indispensable classroom for my evolution:
- navigating family dynamics
- recognizing the profound impact of our surroundings
- sorting though my subconscious programming since birth
It signs began in 2019 but the final guillotine didn’t drop until the world collapsed as one at the beginning of the pandemic— —a fitting end to a storm and the beginning of a new phase in my life.
Facing The Truth
Facing the stark reality that my external world mirrored my internal realm, I accepted responsibility for the turbulence. The unraveling wasn’t mere happenstance; I had attracted it.
In the fall of 2020, after launching startups and extricating myself from a toxic relationship amidst the pandemic’s summer, triggered by a head-on car collision, my meticulously crafted life crumbled. Our relentless drive had finally propelled us over the edge.
Living in chronic pain for two years, gut shut down, vision dimming, hormones tumultuous—I weathered the storm. On the surface, I appeared fine, maintaining a positive outlook, exercising, cooking healthy foods from scratch, and embracing a social life. My rituals kept me going. Yet, mentally, I was hanging on by a thread.
Isolated due to the pandemic, obtaining treatment was a challenge. So, I embraced extreme ownership, deciding to heal myself.
In a strange turn, the same decision that led me to this path in life and my self-manifested demise also provided an opportunity to prove the resilience of my spirit. This life gave me every chance to show up and prove to my brain that I could shape my reality, and I did— at my own expense. **I had monumental wins and devastating losses.
Nevertheless, I knew I manifested my own demise.
The ironic part was, deep down, I had foreseen this day arriving so I must have been unconsciously preparing by building grit through intentional suffering (bike rides, saunas, cold showers, etc). Every day, I would say to myself, “This is unsustainable.”
However, I found myself unable to break free, ensnared in a tumultuous yet intoxicating lifestyle. It was as if I had been living on the edge of a constant flow, where the balance between challenge and skill was flawlessly aligned.
But during training, we learn that “living in flow” is unhealthy. Too much of anything is atrocious.
Yet, high risk, high reward. I took a huge risk, and because of that, I was able to level up exponentially so my next chapter, though devastating became the best days of my life.
I had already learned all that I needed from this phase of my life.
It was time to bounce.
Chapter 7 – Healing: A Journey into Trauma
My inner voice called for healing.
Witnessing my ex succumb to poor decisions in the wake of family betrayal, I vowed to never allow such circumstances to engulf me. The suppressed elephant in the room during years of strange interactions haunted me.
Helplessness engulfed me, realizing you can’t save someone until they are ready to save themselves. My commitment post-relationship led me to a profound study of trauma. I learned that a traumatized brain is a damaged brain.
Nothing worthwhile comes easy.
I turned the worst time of my life into some of the best times by embracing extreme ownership of my healing journey as part of my grand adventure. My journals bore witness to these times. I had a relentless focus on progress, knowing that my solution would manifest itself when it was time.
In this chapter, I learned to:
- be alone
- undo co-dependency
- prioritize stress reduction
- heal my body naturally & holistically
- completely reset my nervous system
- taught myself strategies to get unstuck
- harness the power of neuroplasticity to improve habits
- cultivate relentless self-confidence in solving my problems
- meditate and transcend into deep altered states of consciousness
Chapter 8 – Transition Towards Purpose
The only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle.Steve Jobs
In the alchemy of life’s transitions, I began my transition from the tech agency life to coaching because I healed myself and felt the calling to help others transform to their highest potential, mastering all aspects of their life, from health, wealth, relationships, mindset, and everything in between.
Motivated by seeing others stuck in toxic patterns without a path to healing, I embraced the challenge of guiding the lost toward the rejuvenation of mind, body, and soul.
My motivation sprang from witnessing others ensnared in toxic patterns, languishing for years without a compass for healing. Many people don’t know where to start nor have the environment around them to facilitate healing and regeneration of the mind, body, and soul.
I was there once but didn’t stay for long because I walked the talk.
My healing journey, although arduous at the moment, felt natural and effortless in hindsight because I had a decade of biohacking experience. As a lover of pain and challenges from a decade of grueling climbs and bike rides, it was quite an exciting time to be able to take all the knowledge I’ve collected and apply it.
It was a cognitive reframing, a masterpiece in the making.
Amidst this healing journey, I mastered transcendental techniques—meditation, breathwork, energy medicine, and somatic therapy—elevating my spirituality to new heights. I became so attuned to my body that every cell’s signal became a whispered language, and my intuition, a symphony of profound strength.
This was icing on top of the cake I’ve been baking for the last decade— layers of physiological goodness (exercise, food, sleep, sunlight).
This phase etched profound lessons:
- work smarter
- elevate self-mastery
- manage my energy, rather than my time
- created a new community of peak performers
- learned to be more comfortable with discomfort
- invested thousands of dollars into upskilling and coaching
- relentlessly auditing my thoughts, habits, and environment
- improve productivity by 500% by mastering my neurochemicals
- set boundaries while running head-on towards my triggers at the same time
The past few years truly tested me and pushed me out of my comfort zone and now I began to find myself “uncomfortable with what’s supposed to be comfortable”.
Chapter 9 – The Second Expansion: Resonance in Chaos
The journey is the catalyst that forged me into who I am.
At the dawn of 2023, a traumatic life-altering event threw a dagger into my dreams meticulously crafted in 2022. The world crumbled in slow motion, challenging all my foundations.
In the initial month, my brain resorted to the familiar pattern—head down, working on business and body tirelessly. However, as my cells screamed for release and grief, my body played a truth-telling symphony.
To break free, the brain and body needed alignment.
Many people don’t know this simple truth— hence why they stay stuck for decades.
I remember vividly the day I woke up with excruciating back pain, dragged myself to the gym anyway, and then an IMS needle in my inner thigh by my physiotherapist became a conduit for grief. I cried for hours. Then a refreshing bike ride afterwards bestowed a renewed world.
The combination of the needle that released the tension and my bike ride aligned my brain and body.
I was whole again, and ready for the next step.
I already knew what I had to do: change my environment to get unstuck. I fervidly found myself light years out of my comfort zone (twice), urged by the gentle guidance of a cherished therapist who had been by my side since the beginning. 🏻
I traveled aimlessly this entire year, Airbnb and hotel hopping, with a beautiful condo sitting empty. I didn’t realize what I was searching for until I found it: a passion-fueled life with a purpose bigger than myself.
When my aimless search elusively revealed itself, I felt the pull to come home because my soul needed a break to process my next chapter.
Chapter 10 – Eternal Ascent: A Quest For Longevity
The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.
In a serendipitous turn, life’s trajectory circled back to the footprints of childhood passions that ignited my imagination—science, medicine, and health. It was a return to the astral dreams and the yearning to explore the cosmos, reminiscent of the dreamy ambitions of my younger self.
Life, an ongoing masterpiece, continuously evolves. Through my myriad experiences, I’ve acquired the art of slowing down and savoring the journey. This philosophy emerged from my transcendent experiences in the mountains, riding my cherished bicycle. Whether ascending Europe’s most epic and renowned peaks, a sense of melancholy creeps in as I approach the summit. The paradox lies in the bittersweet realization that I never wished for the climb to end; I wanted to climb forever.
Knowing and experiencing emerge as distinct realms.
After years of scaling mountains, the profound truth dawned on me —the essence lies in the journey, not the destination. Ironically, the mountain summits, ostensibly grand, reveal a barren reality. They become a jarring sight, marred by loud tourists, the clamor of motorcycles, unsightly tour buses, and trash.
True bliss, an ethereal melody, rests in the solitary dance of the climb, the tranquility of plunging into the depths of introspection while harmonizing with the splendid gloriousness of Mother Nature.
As I layered additional skills upon my entrepreneurial canvas in tech, start-ups, creative strategy, and consulting, I transitioned into a holistic approach, I transcended further. Becoming a certified life and wellness coach, a peak performance coach under the neuroscience-based Flow Research Collective, and a Holistic Nutritionist on top of that. I’ve been obsessed with nutrition science for the last decade, and have been studying it on my own terms, but took the leap to heal my own gut because I love structured learning.
Wellness flows through me as naturally as brushing my teeth, a perpetual quest for novel and improved habits through the remarkable power of neuroplasticity.
My mission is to:
- spread and democratize functional wellness
- teach others the art of living longer and better
- assist others in making life’s challenges feel effortless
- guide the rewiring of brains toward better habits using neuroplasticity
- help individuals break free by living on the edge of their comfort zones—where excitement thrives
Optimize For Longevity
The obsession with longevity began in 2022 and found its culmination in the early tragedy of 2023, as I experienced the loss of my true love. Along the way, I uncovered the essence of my “why”— a fervent longing to ensure my parents live the rest of their retired lives to the fullest.
This served as the catalyst that propelled me to recognize the significance of optimizing for an increased health span and an enhanced quality of life.
My life revolves around 3 pillars to Slay The Long Game:
1️⃣ Prioritize Brain Health
2️⃣ Optimize For Longevity
3️⃣ Build Grit
This trifecta results in:
✅ Better habits.
✅ Better decisions.
✅ Better quality of life.
The rewards are just the icing on the cake:
🍰 More time.
🍰 More money.
🍰 More happiness.
Never say no to cake.
I hope you join me in this chapter of my life.
I can teach you how to live longer. And better.
To Be Continued…
PS. when’s the next challenge?! 🤣