This Perspective Will Ruin Your Career
Recently, I had an epiphany that set me on a slightly different path.
I have been pretty spoiled in my personal development bubble I’ve created for myself. The funny thing was that I was really into the Nutritional Science space and that was already toxic enough. If you know, you know!
Imagine a bunch of grown-ass men and women, doctors, scientists, gym bros, and sissies arguing with each other over whether a calorie was just a calorie. I couldn’t peel my eyes off of this juicy warfare muddled with cognitive dissonance as I watched the fissure between inner peace and declining mental health expand until one by one, they started falling into the abyss. It was like watching a car crash.
How can this happen to well-educated men and women?
Then Covid happened. The pandemic was just icing on the cake! It wasn’t particularly delicious — only bittersweet.
I learn by inversion. I see behaviors I don’t like and tell myself I will never sabotage my own life that way.
I stopped watching the news and engaging on social media.
I created a bubble around myself.
The majority of those I speak to are obsessed with doing better, expanding their mindsets and perspectives, open to constructive criticism, living an active and healthy lifestyle, open to being vulnerable, and believing in being a better citizen of the world. Every single conversation and experience I’ve had in the past couple of years have been fucking enlightening and left me in a state of awe. Because I chose to immerse myself in that environment.
I avoided all else.
The Double-Edged Sword
One day, I was speaking to someone I met and found myself getting really annoyed to the point where I wanted to grab and twist her ponytail. I had to pull myself back and ask myself what was frustrating me — this woman had zero awareness of the world and had an extreme victim mentality.
It was then I realized how hard it is to talk to those who have ‘narrow-minded views’ or have not started their inner work. The ones who haven’t developed awareness internally or externally.
Because of that, I realized how dangerously close I falling into the chasm of narrow-mindedness myself.
I judged her for an instance. I was able to pull myself back and reframe it knowing she probably didn’t have the life experience to understand someone else’s perspective. That perspective was one of the men she was dating who was also going through a divorce and fighting for custody of his children. You can probably guess what the conversation was about.
But because of that instance, I’ve decided to start working on patience and building empathy because I want to do better.
Life is a journey and there’s no such thing as perfection. We’re all human and prone to fail because without making mistakes, we don’t learn. The question is, are you aware enough to catch yourself when you make mistakes? I’m all for mistakes because you need them but the problem is when that mistake happens again and again.
A Crusade for Power & Ego
There is a lot going on in the world right now. Especially with #RoevsWade being overturned.
I was on LinkedIn (out of all places) reading threads on how companies are responding. I’ve noticed a lot of comments, especially from those coming from a seemingly privileged background or working in high-paying jobs from a certain demographic leaving opposing yet narrow-minded comments on threads relating to this topic.
Intelligence isn’t only about IQ, your bank account, and your position at work. Intelligence encompasses many aspects including extreme awareness of the world around you. You can only gain that through life experience and openness. No matter how successful you are professional or financially doesn’t mean you are a well-rounded person.
I truly believe there is more good to the world but on social media, the assholes are usually the loudest because in many cases, they wouldn’t dare say those things out loud.
But I can’t judge especially those whose minds are in the dark ages due to a generational gap or a stifling upbringing. They are a prisoner of their own minds and the problem is deeply rooted in our history and society.
***I also understand negativity bias. Our brains are trained to register negative stimuli more than positive ones. Nevertheless, I am going to make my case anyway:
The whole debate seems to be about the rights of unborn babies versus the right of the woman’s body and her choice. Extreme pro-lifers do not take into account:
- Toxic upbringing due to lack of education and generational trauma. All our habits, decisions, and behaviors depend on how we were raised.
- Quality of life for the child. Are extreme pro-lifers going to volunteer their time and money to ensure children are going to develop into happy and productive adults? And if they end up in on the streets, on welfare, in jail, or in a mental institution because they didn’t have the privilege and luck of being born into a stable and loving home, are these pro-lifers going to come and rescue their fellow human beings from suffering? If so, then yes please be pro-life.
- Where are these extreme pro-lifers not volunteering all their time and resources to help get the homeless off the streets? Many of them are there because of mental health issues due to trauma and improper upbringing. When does this cycle end?
- Some are arguing that this just gives power back to the states but what difference does it make? Federal or stateside, a woman should be able to decide what to do with her body.
- The poor will be disproportionately affected by this judgment.
- There are billions of people in the world with billions of stories to tell. Who are you to judge a woman by what they want to do with their own body or tell someone to “teach your daughters to respect a life”? How can you assume they are “throwing a life away due to convenience.” Are you going to come and adopt that child and ensure they have a proper upbringing?
- How many children have pro-lifers adopted? There are many who need homes!
How to Reverse A Dangerously Narrow-Mind
1) Get out of your bubble.
Travel with content to actually experience cultures. Talk to locals. Be genuinely curious. Join a club in your town. Your brain is a database of experience and unless you’ve experienced things firsthand, you will never expand your mind.
2) Get Opposing Views
Hang out with people with opposing views. You don’t grow with people who only suck up to you and inflate your ego.
3) Say yes.
To new experiences. I embodied this mindset after reading Michael Singer’s book, The Surrender Experiment, when I was contemplating whether or not to leave my career in my mid-20s. I did and never looked back. The thesis of that book is to step out of your comfort zone and say YES to everything and opportunities and adventures follow. It works.
4) Question your upbringing.
Like it or not, we’re all a product of our environment and our upbringing has a lot to do with the outcome of who we are today. Were you brought up in a suppressed home where you weren’t taught to think on your own? Have you worked on your own traumas?
5) Questions your privilege.
Being privileged isn’t just about wealth. Privilege also means being raised in a loving home with parents who are still together. Having caretakers who were able to meet your needs. Having the chance for a proper education. If you had all those things yet never consciously went to immerse yourself into the world, you may be stuck in a bubble.
6) Practice extreme self-awareness.
Try to catch yourself every time you are acting on something that goes against your values. In fact, question all your thoughts, feelings, actions, and behaviors with no judgment but curiosity.
Why I Care
Truthfully, being a woman, I am extremely triggered by this.
Imagine not being able to decide what to do with your own body and having to go through hoops, hurdles, and criticism.
I may never be in that situation but what if?! What if it was my daughter? What if it was a friend?
I am also pretty well-traveled and have lived and experienced many different lifestyles because I am a naturally curious person and chose to immerse myself in different experiences. That’s the only way to grow.
Narrow-mindedness and privileged thinking are going to ruin the world.
We can agree to disagree but if you don’t agree, I encourage you to ask yourself:
- What have I truly experienced that makes me well traveled and gave me different perspectives in life?
- How do I know what that woman is going through?
- Am I a woman?
- Do I surround myself with people who have the same opinions as me?
- Did I have a privileged upbringing where my parents were together and didn’t have to struggle to make ends meet?
- Am I stuck in my bubble?
🙏🏼 It doesn’t hurt for all of these to explore the one thing we try to avoid: ourselves.
The reason I write is that I learned that in order for our minds to process thoughts and emotions, writing solves problems and gives you peace of mind. You are literally removing clutter from your mind onto paper (or onto Notion!).
So today I write because I’m triggered and I refuse to let these angry emotions sit with me. But we’re human and it’s healthier to process, feel and let go of emotions than suppress them.
Going to go on a bike ride now. Thanks for reading! ✌️