Loss Aversion Is A Powerful Motivator.
A few days ago I was on a bike ride and I just had insight after insight. I came to realize that the reason behind my drive and ambition was because, at a very young age, I knew my parents couldn’t give me what I needed (due to finances) so I embodied the mindset that it was up to me to save myself.
I was also surrounded by wealthier friends and family who got to do cool things such as karate lessons, piano, ballet, horseback riding… I wanted all those things so bad but instead of sulking, I decided to create my own future.
I had always told myself: failure is not an option.
I would never fuck my life.
Because of that, I immersed myself in learning. I saturated my soul with books, writing, and adventures. I trained my mind to see unlimited opportunities.
When I wasn’t reading or learning something online, I was writing. I started my first blog when I was 11. Creative output was always important to me because it kept my mind stimulated.
I taught myself how to code and design when I was nine and I have literally been hustling since then. I spent many childhood days in Yahoo chatrooms pretending I was 20 years old and offering web and graphic design services. Hah.
The internet is a wondrous place and it showed me you can literally do and achieve anything you dream of as long as you put in the work!
How to Not Fuck Up Your Life
1) Take Accountability
I’m not the one to wait around for someone to save me.
Two years ago, my body shut down from years of chronic stress, a head-on car accident, the pandemic, starting a couple of online businesses, and finally leaving a toxic relationship that was riddled with my ex’s trauma. It was devastating because I effortlessly lived in optimal health for over a decade and worked really hard to get to where I was.
But life happens. One of my favorite quotes is from Will Smith is:
I don’t get ready. I stay ready.
I spent the entirety of my 20s developing discipline, resilience, and adaptability by staying out of my comfort zone through fitness.
When the most precious thing was taken from me (my health), I decided I was going to heal myself. And I had no doubt I would do it.
I become a life coach and I’m working on a master’s in holistic nutrition because I realize I was the only person who can heal myself. I’m obsessed with health and have been studying nutrition science as a hobby for over a decade anyway, so why not? At least now, I can preach about it online so it was a win-win.
And navigating the allopathic medical system was painful, especially during a pandemic.
I never waited around for anyone or anything my entire life, so why would I start now? Ain’t nobody got time for that.
2) Learn From Asking Yourself: What Do I Not Want To Do?
I know people who are still suffering from trauma that happened 10 years ago because they refused to deal with it and swept it under the rug. I saw them ruin their own lives and make bad decisions because a traumatized brain acts from fear and scarcity.
Since I learn from inversion, I promise myself that would never happen to me.
Why would I want to fuck up my own life? Two years later, I am almost healed and the fact that I took accountability gives me the strength and confidence to continue this momentum to achieve even more.
There is so much power in knowing your destiny is in your own hands.
3) Stop Playing Victim.
I love life so much and I cannot comprehend how people let themselves suffer. I do understand conditioning, trauma, depression, and other mental health disorders however the question is.. how do we get more people to instill a growth mindset?
Victim mentality is everything that is wrong with society because it holds us back from our true potential.
You blame everyone but yourself and don’t take accountability for your actions because you are paralyzed by fear. You think bad things keep on happening to you and none of them is your fault.
Guess what? Negative energy attracts negative energy.
Whether it’s from trauma or moral elitism, you still have a CHOICE to take back control of your life. It’s your CHOICE to play the victim. Which one would you rather CHOOSE?
The sad thing is that the trend these days encourages victim mindsets because they tell you “it’s okay to sit with your feelings.” Yes, it is, but only for a short period of time.
The world is full of people using their trauma to their advantage so they don’t have to take responsibility, receive pity or attention and avoid facing hard emotions.
They don’t understand that everyone is suffering to some degree.
Yes, you could have faced adversity or had a toxic upbringing and that was how you learned to survive in childhood — but there are so many options to help you heal such as therapy. It works. It’s not easy but nothing worthwhile comes easy.
We are all responsible for at least trying to be productive citizens in our cyclic society.
Summary Of Ways To Not Fuck Up Your Life
- Take accountability.
- Learn by asking: what do I not want to do?
- Stop playing victim.
- Stop complaining.
- Stop waiting for someone to come along to save you.
- Stop running away from your problems.
- Stop ruminating over the past.
- Stop looking for shortcuts or the easy way out.
- Stop comparing yourself to others. Everyone is making it up as they go along.
- Stop letting your emotions control you.
- Stop pretending you know everything.
- Stop getting attached to material things.
- Stop hanging out with people who bring you down.
- Stop ignoring your health.
- Stop eating processed foods and refined sugars.
- Stop staying in your comfort zone.
- Stop being a passive player in the game we call life.
So it’s your choice.
Do you want to fuck up your life?
Or do you want to design a life you love?