Use Intimidation to your advantage.
Growing up as the black sheep in my family, and an “outgoing” introvert amongst extremely extroverted friends, surrounded by a diverse range of experiences, I developed an independent and contrarian mindset. I even had my first out-of-body experience when I was six.
Being independent, immersed in books, and obsessed with learning early in life, my obsession with learning and personal growth exposed me to various perspectives. I read a lot of biographies of people I admired so I knew the value of learning from others.
I began questioning everything from religion and opinions when I was 5. I remember going to church with my cousins and asking myself, why am I donating money into this collection plate when I don’t even know what they’re truly using it for?! Be a healthy-skeptic (but don’t be uptight— nobody likes that).
Everyone is unique in their own way.
I’ve always seen the world at a very deep level and seen things for how they truly are. Today, I want to write about something that’s been on my mind a lot:
What Is Intimidation
Our minds are wired to constantly search for comfort and familiarity because it’s safe. When you see someone who may be stronger, smarter, or prettier than you, your brain will detect that person as a threat — because subconsciously, you may want to embody those traits but you don’t believe that you do.
Intimidation occurs when someone perceives qualities in others that they wish they had themselves. It’s often driven by a lack of self-confidence, feelings of inferiority, or low self-esteem.
Stop Emitting Low Vibes
Envy and intimidation are related to feelings of guilt because you are ashamed that you lack qualities you wished you had. Your brain will protect you from it. As a result, you project negative vibes such as jealousy or intimidation. Projection is simply a defense mechanism.
The Elephant In The Room Holding You Back From Your True Potential
Think about that again next time someone intimidates you: you are simply projecting yourself onto that person because you lack confidence in yourself. A hard truth you don’t want to hear but it’s a normal reaction and part of human nature.
Your unconscious mind is protecting you from the pain of self-realization.
Don’t worry — this can be fixed. Our brains are fucking brilliant and you can rewire it to be the person you’ve always wanted to become by taking advantage of neuroplasticity.
A Shift in Mindset: Inspiration Over Intimidation
Growing up, I was never intimidated by anyone — simply because I always did my own thing and didn’t care what anyone thought of me. I also never had a shortage of close friends even though I was quiet and reserved, possibly because I minded my own business. Energy? Who knows but the way my mind works is that I always planned ahead — “see the future” in a sense so you don’t make bad decisions. Things have always been so obvious.
The Uncomfortable Truth
If your friends don’t intimidate you a little bit or inspire you to want to do better, you may want to find new friends.
No, don’t ditch your friends because we live life in seasons and we must respect that. But it’s okay to find different circles for different purposes. Don’t feel guilty about it. Your real friends would want you to grow.
My Personal Story of Inspiration
Let me recount a story from my life when I met my best friend in Vancouver in 1999. Despite her being more popular, outgoing, and academically successful, I never felt jealous. Instead, I viewed her as an inspiration and worked harder to improve myself. She encouraged me to take on new challenges, which positively influenced my personal growth.
Funny enough, I was the complete opposite: quiet, shy, and reserved— but we hit it off right away and to this day, our relationship is better than ever. Our personalities may be different but the way our minds work has always been aligned.
How To Never Be Intimidated Again
1. Reframing Strategy
“I am who I am today because I had many strong influences in my life and I saw them all as inspiration, not competition.”
Rather than being intimidated by others who appear better in certain aspects, choose to see them as sources of inspiration. Embrace the idea of surrounding yourself with exceptional people, as they can motivate you to become the best version of yourself. Seek to learn from them and allow their qualities to inspire your own growth.
I love being surrounded by well-rounded people.
2. Acknowledge Why People May Get Intimidated By You
When you have extremely high standards for yourself– putting an effort into appearances, prioritizing health and hard work, and not being afraid to say what’s on your mind, yet having the emotional intelligence to take criticism— others are going to want it too.
But that requires hard work.
Unfortunately, many people chose to not put in the hard work– mentally, physically, and spiritually.
That’s why people get intimidated and emit unnecessary negative energy.
3. Acknowledging Insecurities and Self-Growth
Next time you get intimidated, remind yourself, “It’s not them, it’s me. I need to work on myself.”
It’s essential to be honest with yourself about your insecurities and vulnerabilities. Accepting these aspects of yourself helps you confront them and work towards self-improvement.
Don’t be afraid to accept your insecurities, vulnerability, and weaknesses. We all have to do our own shadow work to level up. I uncover something dark about myself all the time… right after I think I finally know myself, another shadow surfaces in my awareness.
Self-growth is a never-ending journey. If you can stomach the discomfort, you’re only going to move upwards.
4. Don’t Give Away Your Power
When you are intimidated by someone, you are giving away your power because you lack confidence. You don’t believe in yourself.
When you catch yourself projecting, don’t beat yourself up over it. Instead, focus on why you’re projecting. Do some soul-searching and go deep internally to figure out how you truly feel. Be truly curious but never judge yourself.
More Strategies To Never Be Intimidated Again
- Talk to a friend or a therapist.
- Meditate to maintain inner peace.
- Call yourself out on your own bullshit.
- Write / journal to sort out your thoughts.
- Build self-confidence by prioritizing self-care.
- Take care of your soul, mentally, physically, and spiritually.
- Never play victim. Hold yourself accountable for everything.
- If you want to be happy, make everyone around you happy first.
- Surround yourself with good friends who will call you out on your bullshit.
- Genuinely compliment other people. It makes them feel good. And you too.
- Increase your confidence by exercising and taking care of yourself physically and mentally.
- See people for who they are. Treat people how you want to be treated. Remember, no one has it all figured out.
- Get your hair and nails done. When you look good, you feel good. Never stop taking care of your appearance. Your external world is a reflection of your internal world.
Never Be Intimidated Again
Once you shift your mindset, you’re going to get everything you want because the universe will open up to you. Instead of playing the victim and spreading negative energy, you will align with the higher frequencies.
Remember, strong people are not intimidating; they are inspirational forces of empowerment.