THIS IS ISSUE.005 OF THE SMRT LIST
Sliding into your inbox today to chat about relationships, resilience, burpees, real-life spiritual mind fucks, and how I manifested everything I wanted into reality.
Before you start chanting “woohoo” hear me out. I have the luxury of time to consume lots of content and do research and even though I could be a scatterbrained dreamer, I’m still somewhat of an uptight science junkie, searching for evidence for everything including the answers to existential crises.
My ex use to call me Spock but I like to call myself well-balanced. 👑
Fake it until you make it, right?
A few weeks ago, I heard on a podcast about a meditation that everyone needs to do to “transcend” and see the world for what it really is.
I had the exact experience when I accidentally floated out of my body when I was 6.
Pretty fucking mind-blowing stuff and I love it when I find science to validate my own experiences. Scroll past the intro if you want to get to the point. 👇🏼
Anyway, I’m still in the South of France right now with no return ticket in sight. My apartment has been sitting empty while…
- I could be collecting sweet overpriced rent to naive millenials and beyond who are willing to spend more than half their paycheck on rent amidst rising food prices and an unstable economy.
- My little sister just had a baby while me here— in my mid-30s, still, zero plans of marriage + kids.
- Haven’t seen my boyfriend in nearly two months. 🤷🏻♀️
Homesickness is definitely creeping in but I am torn because I’m able to double down on my focus and productivity and spend time with my cousin and her son. I’m settled into a super healthy routine after a month of extravagance.
What if I never get this freedom again to work on myself?!
Cause and effect: there is a sacrifice for everything.
I hate how I think I have my 💩 together but I still let my mind get guilt-tripped for “not living the way we are supposed to.”
I’m literally living the life of luxury right now with ultimate time freedom and I can do whatever I want. Why do I still go through bouts of feeling unfulfilled?
Why do our minds have to keep on pulling us in all directions? If not life was easy—but easy means balance = stasis = death.
The opposite of everything growth.
I guess the only way to get through life is to be able to comprehend all the paradoxes it has to offer.
But in the case of my boyfriend, I love the feeling of missing someone, yet knowing I don’t need him around all the time to feel fulfilled. We don’t talk every day because we’re both busy AF but when we do, I feel like I fall in love all over again when I hear his voice.
Being an extroverted-introvert whose work requires extraordinary focus, I need my space to get shit down as efficiently as possible (I hate wasting time).
Also, codependency is a dangerous thing and I believe the secret to all relationships is that you must each have your own life but still love each other deeply. Clinginess and neediness are the two biggest turn-offs ever. Do you agree?
Balance is necessary for ultimate well-being and being able adaptable no matter what makes living effortless and fun.
Have you ever asked yourself how resilient you are if you were thrown into an unexpected situation?
Let’s say you’re held up at gunpoint in Mexico or someone in front of you start randomly having seizures and foaming from their mouth?
Being super dramatic here but how would you react in the situation?
➡️ The second one actually happened to me a few years ago. It was a staff that I hired for one of my businesses.
I was surprised at how calm I was despite the circumstances of being in one of the poorest towns in Canada by myself. I still give credit to the resilience I had built throughout my 20s by continuously forcing myself out of my comfort zone.
💡 I’m asking you this because this edition will be spiritual AF.
What is Spirituality?
Spirituality is the understanding of yourself— the part that you cannot see.
And knowing there is something greater to life than what meets your five senses— a higher form of intelligence that governs everything.
It is the marriage of deep belief, intuition, and collective consciousness.
Most people don’t ever go down this route of enlightenment because our brains naturally protect us from “what scares us” and no one wants to know their true selves.
This is why we project ourselves onto others by getting annoyed, angry, frustrated, intimidated, jealous…
But what if you can let go of those negative emotions that chain you to the prison of your mind?
This is where spirituality comes in.
I’ve been obsessed with studying thought leaders and successful people since I was a pre-teen thinking I knew the meaning of life.
The one thing in common is that they all work on their minds. 🧠
Funny how they don’t emphasize the importance of not sabotaging this mass of soft tissue in your head in school.
Over the past few years, I’ve had many conversations with people who are in torment with themselves trying to figure out why bad things happen to them, why they are stuck in loveless relationships, or why their lives feel mundane.
I was there two years ago after my “perfect” life fell apart from a car accident, leaving an emotionally abusive relationship (didn’t realize it while I was in it), a pandemic, and the chronic stress of starting a couple of online businesses at the same time.
I thought I had it all because I was 80% happy despite the circumstances.
Fortunately, I bounced back quickly healing from trauma and a body wrecked by a car accident and years of chronic stress— because my body and mind were resilient from a decade of a healthy lifestyle.
I’ve seen people suffer for almost a decade and not do anything about it— still doing the same bad habits every day. I swore that would never be me.
🪄 When you have control of your mind, you have control of your life.
This is what sets apart successful and rounded people and those who aren’t.
⚡️ The healing journey is mostly a spiritual one.
Even if you don’t have problems now or your traumas haven’t surfaced yet, starting the journey will help you later on.
As we age, our body accumulates toxins, stress, and trauma, making it harder to heal. You don’t want to wait until you are older or when it’s too late.
It’s never too late to start! 🤞🏼
I very rarely have writer’s block but today I’m feeling a bit blah. I think it’s an early sign of burnout and my mind being too tired from literally being non-stop the last few weeks.
So I decided to take some time off my usual work to hash away at something I’m passionate about: writing.
I began this newsletter to practice discipline and consistency. I set goals as to how often I publish even if no one reads it —but I am doing more for my mind.
Sorry, dear reader, I still love you but I hope in the process of bettering myself, you would be inspired to work on yourself.
If you want someone to start doing something that’s good for them, you have to just focus on doing it yourself, and eventually, they may start to get inspired.
This is how I began my wellness journey in 2007; surrounding myself with people and content like this. I haven’t fallen off the bandwagon since and I don’t ever plan to. It’s a commitment I made for myself.
What about you? Do you have any commitments you’ve made that you will never break?
I really don’t care too much about what most people think about me, but I hate disappointing myself. I don’t think I have ever done so.
It all started when I use to walk to the gym telling myself I’m going to do 100 burpees for time and because I thought of it, I HAD to do it. Over time, it just easier… it became a habit.
I also know that action precedes motivation so I just need to start. Once I get started, flow will kick in and I get in the zone.
Creative work (especially passion projects where you’re not getting paid) takes a lot of mental energy and maintaining a fine balance of brain chemicals but I’m able to pound out so much because I understand energy + time management, and the physiology of our brains.
So in the spirit of keeping promises (a.k.a. standards to yourself), let’s get started! →
An Accidental Out-Of-Body Experience
I remember the moment clearly:
I was laying on the staircase of my grandparents’ house.
I must have been completely relaxed because I soon found myself floating out of my body–
I saw myself laying on the staircase
… the roof of the house
… the city of Regina, Saskatchewan
… the planet earth
…. and soon I was floating out in space, looking down into the Milky Way.
I remember saying to myself: “wow we are so tiny and insignificance in the grand scheme of things!”
And then I was back in my body. I simply jumped up and went to find my cousins to play.
That experience was imprinted into my mind forever. It seemed insignificant at the time but that’s why I am all about “planting seeds 🌱” because moments like those are stored in your subconscious and make you who you are today.
I grew up with insatiable curiosity and a thirst for knowledge. I questioned everything from religion, behaviors, and conventions yet researched and read as much as I could because I wanted to know how the universe works.
I also remember the first time being at church with my cousins (my family wasn’t religious but Chinese School was downstairs after service).
They were handing around the collection plate. My aunt gave me a $2 bill to put in it. I took it but I remember thinking, “this is so stupid… how do I know if they’re not just taking this money for their own good?”
How does a 6-year-old even know things like that? Or say such, grandeur comments?
Actually, kids do it all the time because their brains are vibing at different frequencies. They access insights adults can’t because we become too conditioned.
We Are Energetic Beings.
We are made out of matter.
All matter is made of atoms.
Atoms are 99.99% energy (space between the nucleus and the outer shell) and 0.001% matter (the nucleus).
Does that mean we are basically all energy?
But how come we seem like material beings!?
Here is a beautiful excerpt I heard on a podcast featuring Dr. Zach Bush MD, a physician specializing in internal medicine, endocrinology, and hospice care who applies science to nature’s intelligence a.k.a. the collective consciousness— everything we don’t understand about the universe.
We Are Stars.
We are solar events.
→ We have billions of black holes within our bodies. Blackholes are the most organized gravitational forces in the universe.
→ Every proton is a black hole. It spins light energy from cells from sunlight into carbon chains which we consume, then it passes through a million purposes to get to the mitochondria so that carbon can be broken apart to release light energy.
→ That light energy is so bright in you. Per cubic centimeter, the human body produces 10x more light than the surface of the sun.
→ We are 10x more efficient in releasing the light than it is to produce the light.
→ Yet we aren’t blinding anyone because every proton has a black hole turning into a particle state (matter) = which makes us LOOK like solid human beings.
→ Thus we are solar events in a particle state
→ And we are here.
⚡️ Once you experience this cosmic consciousness, you can never unsee it. It creates a permanent shift in your perception and experience of the world, moving beyond the sense of being an individual, or a person. But we have to be careful not to get “addicted” to this blissful feeling of enlightenment and use it to escape real life. It should only be accessed to level up your life.
⚡️ I saw the overwhelming expansiveness of “The Whole” which paradoxically brings you back to what matters; “The Now.” Our minds live in the past and the future, rarely are we present. It is only when we are present (in the now), that we are truly whole.
⚡️ We are all in an egoic war with our minds and the forces of society are constantly diminishing the light in us. We will eventually become a malignancy— a cancer on this earth, and this is why we get diseases, dementia, and die— it is nature’s way of maintaining equilibrium. Survival of the fittest at a cosmic level. Our frail human minds need to be trained to survive these invisible forces of toxic energy we can’t see. You’re still going to die but it’ll make aging more enjoyable.
⚡️ Spiritual experiences show you the truth of what we truly are. Only once you have absolute clarity on the truth of reality, you can manifest anything you want. This is why some people live successful, fulfilling lives and others never do.
I conduct my life in alignment with the universe.
I always saw the world differently than everyone I grew up with.
I literally see people and things as energy. It’s hard to explain but I don’t see people for how they look but I “feel” people by who they are— I can sense emotions and intentions. It’s almost a visual that appears in my brain but it’s not really “visual”.. but also a feeling… a knowing… an understanding. It’s really hard to explain.
Some can label that an empath but I know it’s much deeper than that.
I’ve always “read between the lines” and “looked below the surface” since I was little— which didn’t help with the insecurities caused by an undeveloped brain.
Because of that, I spent most of my life trying to understand myself and the workings of the universe.
That’s what fuels my relentless curiosity and why I can never sit still!
The world is so exciting!!
For example, growing up, everyone around me would say, “______ is so hot!” I didn’t get it.. seeing a “hot guy” never did anything for me even in high school. I thought it was such a shallow way to see the world even at that age.
➡️ I always knew there was more to life than what we see on the surface.
Before you call me an elitist, hear me out… because I’m still trying to figure out why some people just “know things” while others don’t (especially at early ages).
Why are some people are born more intuitively than others?
This has always been incredibly fascinating to me.
There are many layers of reality we cannot see with our unevolved human minds.
“Consciousness” is the biggest mystery of our time and no one knows what it is. With quantum mechanics, many worlds interpretation, the String Theory, and the state of ecstasis aka FLOW — we are making profound discoveries in science trying to understand this riddle.
There is a lot more we don’t know but I feel as if I understand the foundations quite well.
The problem is explaining it to someone who has never experienced it because your conditioned mind has trouble grasping what its never experienced.
You will never be able to grasp it until you see it for yourself.
During my accidental OEB, I tapped into that theoretical quantum field of invisible intelligence and since then, I have tapped into that field countless times.
I tap into it when I’m in flow (cycling or writing), meditation, contemplation, sitting still, and obviously easily on psychedelics and cannabis— because these plant medicines rewire neurons and force lateral thinking.
Not forcing you at all but the most leveled CEOs and thought-leaders in the world have an advantage because they’re open-minded, have control, and understand these peak states.
We all know there is more to the world than the naked eye. Plant medicine and holistic healing have been around for civilizations and modern medicine is always the last to know… yet ironically claiming these “finds” as their own.
The irony!! 😒
For the last two years, as I embarked on my healing journey, I went deeper into studying consciousness, spirituality, and quantum physics. It may seem woo-hoo but I found a lot of scientific evidence for many of my strange life experiences
I have the mind of a dreamer but I’m a lover of science— just not as draconian as some people who can’t seem to garner their existence without finding solid evidence to back up their beliefs.
I honestly find them to be a bit dry to be around because belief is crucial if you want to be happy. You just have to surrender sometimes and not be so uptight all the time!
I’ve done extensive research into these phenomena.
Why Out-Of-Body Experiences Happen
A study found that most instances of spontaneous anomalous body experiences occurred during a relaxed or borderline sleeping state and one-third reported (seeing) their body from a different perspective while the rest reported a visual or somatosensory shift in perspective.
We have heard stories of the CIA using “remote viewing” to catch criminals. I’ve met a few people who claimed they can astral project. I don’t discount any of these experiences because I’ve seen things that cannot be explained.
For example, I’ve seen people’s facial features literally shift in front of my eyes when my liking towards them changed.
A theory leaked in CIA files is that our universe is a hologram that represents all the phases of time: the past, present, and future. This ties into quantum physics where infinite layers of reality, past, present, and future all exist in a vacuum.
All matter also vibrates at specific frequencies:
“*All things in our universe are constantly in motion, vibrating. Even objects that appear to be stationary are in fact vibrating, oscillating, resonating, at various frequencies. Resonance is a type of motion, characterized by oscillation between two states. And ultimately all matter is just vibrations of various underlying fields.” — source
”If the frequency of human consciousness can dip below 10 to the power of 33cm per second but above a state of total rest, it can transcend spacetime.” — CIA Files
Since everything exists in the universal hologram simultaneously, it seems logical that if we can entrain our brainwaves to a certain frequency, we can tap into anything that is also in that frequency.
“An interesting phenomenon occurs when different vibrating things/processes come into proximity: they will often start, after a little time, to vibrate together at the same frequency. They “sync up,” sometimes in ways that can seem mysterious. This is described today as the phenomenon of spontaneous self-organization.”
Research on meditation shows the different roles of brainwaves and how we can enter those states. I must have accidentally slipped out of my body because I was relaxed enough and slipped into another frequency.
The Collective Consciousness
In the woohoo world, they call these the Akashic Records: every thought, idea, and action from the past, present, and future is stored ad infinitum. Similar to the String Theory, the Akashic Records is like a database of what’s happening in all the universes that are co-existing together.
Before you think you’ve had enough, think about this innate knowledge we all have.
How do birds know exactly where to migrate? How does salmon go back to the exact spot every year to spawn? How do polar bears navigate the barren arctic where everything looks the same?
We are all connected by this invisible field of knowing— energy— composed of the earth’s magnetic fields that we can’t see but are intuitively familiar with.
That’s what the gut feeling is.
“Intuition is more powerful than intellect.” — Scott Barry Kaufman, Wired to Create
We all have this— just like all other creatures on earth with a consciousness. But our rational minds are distracted by shiny things …and conforming to how society tells us we are supposed to live.
So we stop listening.
Intuition and insights occur when we shut down our rational minds.
But our minds are also boggled down by hustle culture and being addicted to our phones.
The paradox is that once we surrender and listen to that innate wisdom that is available to all of us, things start to happen for us, instead of to us.
Opportunities fall into your lap, your “manifestations” come true… this is what it means when someone tells you to “surrender and go with the flow”— it’s a trust in the universe that everything will work out as planned.
This is also the secret to manifesting the life of your dreams.
But people aren’t able to do it because it’s hard to “let go of control.”
Manifestation Requires 3 Things:
- Clarity: You must be clear on the outcome of your desires, and a good way to achieve clarity is visualization. Your brain can’t tell what is real and what is your imagination.
- Belief: If you don’t truly believe in yourself, you will never achieve your dreams. Any bit of self-doubt will hinder your progress, and even though it is natural to have obstacles, you must train your mind to overcome them continuously.
- Action: If you can’t grasp the concept of manifestation, try to reframe it as a state of mind, and a way of doing. The first two steps are the secret: CLARITY and BELIEF are what are going to keep that momentum going to drive you to take radical ACTION towards your dreams.
Clarity: Why You Should Develop Your Intuition
To find the absolute clarity needed to manifest your desires, you have to listen to your intuition.
When we have questions or big decisions to make, we have to look within and trust our intuition to make the right decision.
Here are some examples of what intuition is and when I listened to my intuition (or not):
a) A strange feeling:
I woke up one morning with a jolt, knowing something was off. Walked out to my living room: a fucking pigeon was standing on my desk staring at me! It was my biggest fear and it happened. And I felt it. Hilariously not hilarious.
b) An unexplained feeling that won’t go away:
Me getting on the wrong train a couple of weeks ago.
The entire way I felt something was off and it wouldn’t go away! I rarely get this feeling.
I arrived at the final stop with a strange alchemy of anxiety and calm. I never feel truly panicked because my mantra is “there is a solution for everything” (I had already looked for Airbnbs in case). My “go with the flow” attitude.
When the doors opened, I bolted to the other end of the station to catch the last train to my final destination, tripped and fell flat on my face, and scraped my knee… but I made it 30 seconds before it departed.
That was the universe warning me not to listen to my intuition. K, I get it.
When a feeling doesn’t go away, LISTEN!!!
c) A very strong emotion towards someone or something:
Before I met my boyfriend, I was dating someday for a couple of months whom I had zero desire to start a future with. His level of intellect and values were awfully misaligned with mine but attraction is subconscious. I obviously had a lesson to learn.
One day as I was riding my bike, I had an epiphany and my intuition told me to ask for exactly what I wanted and if he couldn’t fulfill my needs, CIAO. 👋🏼 I always asked for what I wanted but for some reason, I forgot to stay true to myself.
I detached from outcomes and because of that, I met my boyfriend who has every quality I’ve dreamed of since I was a little girl. Your mind works in funny ways. It took me 34 years to admit to myself what I truly wanted.
d) Flashes of glimpses of outcomes before it happens:
Laying in bed one night a few years ago, I was telling myself I had to get out of this toxic environment because I was turning into someone I didn’t like. That vision definitely triggered me to take action. It’s really hard to get out of situations when you are tied up in energy, us being sensitive energetic beings and all. Sometimes we need a nudge to remind us.
✍🏼 JOURNAL PROMPT: What about you? Write about experiences you had with the four ways intuition may have communicated with you.
Your intuition is a mental muscle that can be strengthened with consistent practice. To increase your intuitive capacity, practice these simple strategies consistently:
1) Recognize intuition.
In the beginning, intuition appears in the background. It’s subtle and can appear as an urge, a feeling, a sensation in your body such as goosebumps, “butterflies in your stomach”, a dry taste in your mouth, a subtle whisper in your mind, a quick vision, or an insight. You can bring intuition to the foreground by listening to these subtle cues.
Maybe one day, you will have a pigeon in your living room too to prove to you the power of intuition.
Insight only occurs when your rational mind shuts down. Regular meditation, even if it’s only 10 minutes a day, will strengthen your awareness of those subtle ways intuition communicates with you. Stop making excuses and start meditating!
3) Spend time in nature.
Everything vibrates at a specific frequency and there is no denying that when we are outside, we decompress and destress— because we are beginning to sync with our natural state of being, not hijacking our minds by being trapped in concrete jungles or starting tiny blue-lit screens all day.
No wonder we feel calm in nature! A study showed, “an interesting phenomenon occurs when different vibrating things/processes come into proximity: they will often start, after a little time, to vibrate together at the same frequency. They “sync up,” sometimes in ways that can seem mysterious. This is described today as the phenomenon of spontaneous self-organization.”
Insights may disappear as often as they appear. Have a journal of a notes app ready to write them down. I open Google Keep and dictate any new insights or strange happenings frequently. I also journal daily.
5) Ask questions.
The quality of your life is based on the quality of the questions you ask. Ask questions and be curious and over time, you will get better at asking the “right questions” to get clarity.
6) Be open-minded.
Increase your visibility to as many facts, ideas, and opinions (data) as possible so your mind has more things to draw correlations between. Intuition is to be able to draw truths from experiences. Read, study, travel, and talk to people from different walks of life and with different opinions as you.
7) Take consistent action.
Once you feel an urge, take action. You will learn to differentiate between real and false intuition. Your brain learns by experience and repetition and you may act upon false intuition in the beginning. It’s really hard to explain but once you understand that “gut feeling” you will just “know” over time.
Think of a CEO who has to make dozens of important decisions every day— he’s done it so often that he has enough “data” to draw from to make profitable decisions for this company.
- Nobody has their shit together because it’s impossible to 100% escape society’s toxic conditioning. But there are things we can do to cleanse that toxic energy so we don’t become malignant.
- Spirituality is understanding the part of you that you don’t see.
- We need spiritual experiences to grow and free ourselves from the chains of our minds.
- Everyone needs to have an out-of-body experience. It puts you in your place and reminds us that we are all insignificance in the grand scheme of things. A cosmic reminder to live in the present and stop being anxious about the past or future.
- Don’t discount something just because you “can’t sense it.” Your mind is just undeveloped but you can work on that!
- The difference between mediocre and well-rounded high-performers is mind management (and mushrooms).
- The empty space in front of us is filled with energy = data = a collective consciousness of natural intelligence = intuition.
- Intuition is intelligence. Wisdom. We all have it in us so start listening.
- Intuition is like a muscle that can get stronger with consistent practice.
- Always ask for what you want. Because most of the time, you will get.
- No matter how much I am traumatized by pigeons (cooo… coooo), they can be great teachers. Learn to see the good in everything! 👀
That’s all for now. If you made it here, I don’t know how you did it, but I applaud you! 😝 I hope you gathered some valuable insights today.
I’ve been on content and inspo bender the past month. Keep scrolling for things that keep my mind stimulated. 👇🏼
Curiosity Is The New Intelligence
Grab your headphones, go for a walk, run, or bike ride. That’s my productivity hack to getting things done and also being able to learn at the same time. You can truly wire your mind to get EXCITED to learn. Learning = innovation for the human race.
🔊 Aubrey Marcus: Medicine In a More Beautiful World w/ Dr. Zach Bush
- In the spirit of spirituality, this and the next few podcasts are a great way to get inspired to start your journey. Stay open-minded and step outside your comfort zone. 😉
🔊 Aubrey Marcus: Decoding Hermetic Wisdom w/ Robert Edward Grant
- Robert Grant claims to have lived multiple lives. Before you run off, try to be open-minded because you there is a lot of spiritual wisdom you can learn even if you don’t believe it.
- Growth Mindset vs. Fixed Mindset. If you want to train yourself to be curious, it’s best to be curious and say, “hmmm strange but I’m going to be open-minded and I want to learn more!” than “This is BS.”
🔊 The Human Upgrade: Meditation Hacks Get You Into A Peak State in Less Time
- Vishen Lakhiani is the founder of Mind Valley
- He has a compelling story of how he went from sales to starting one of the biggest transformation platforms in the world.
🔊 School of Greatness: How To Reprogram Your Subconscious Mind To Manifest Your Dream Life
- All the answers you need lie in your subconscious. Ever since I began my journey into deep inner work, my life has transformed. Podcasts like these are a great place to start.
🔊 School of Greatness: How To Manifest & Attract Love Into Your Life
🔊 School of Greatness: What Parents Can Do To End The Cycle Of Generational Trauma w/ Dr. Gabor Mate
- Trauma is something I’m super passionate about because I’ve seen the effects of generational trauma firsthand and what it did to the mind of someone I loved.
- Please be brave and do the work to identify and resolve yours.
⏱ Current: What’s the probability of three earthquakes hitting Mexico City on the date September 19?
🥑 Health: Rewire Your Brain to Get Rid of Pain
💕 Love: How To Always Get What You Want
🥂 Life: Can you imagine sacrificing your entire life to public service with grace? No matter what side you are on 99.9999% won’t have the discipline to do it. Can we take a second to admire that? Thank you and time to rest, Your Majesty. Honestly, without the former Queen, I think the monarchy should be abolished because to me, she was the monarchy. What are your thoughts?
🧬 Science: Want to live longer? Influence your genes. Age is just a number. When I’m in old age, my mind and energy is going to be 27 forever.